LOVE SONGS LIVE
JOHN ZORN – JESSE HARRIS present PETRA HADEN in
LOVE SONGS LIVE
1. A Fool
2. Secrets
3. Winter on the Phone
4. Every Moment After This
5. And I Will Dream of You
6. Look to the Future
7. Lost and Found
8. All Alone
9. Keep on Looking
10. Wish We Were
11. As a Flying Bird
12. In Time
13. Non Fortuna
14. Don’t Believe
15. Lost in a Reverie
16. For You
Petra Haden
voice
Brian Marsella
piano
Jorge Roeder
bass
Ches Smith
drums
Music composed and arranged by John Zorn
Lyrics and notes by Jesse Harris
Recorded live at National Sawdust on September 16, 2023 by Garth MacAleavey
Sound mix by Jesse Harris
Mastering by Scott Hull
Produced by John Zorn and Jesse Harris
Design by Chippy (Heung-Heung Chin)
About Love Songs Live
Since 2013 John Zorn and I have written thirty-two songs together, some under the banner of The Song Project, others Songs For Petra (Petra Haden, who is featured on this album) and the rest from our latest collection, Love Songs, a musical.
In the early days of our collaborating, my lyrics were written to existing music of John’s. Soon he began to write new music for me to write words to and for Petra to sing. Somewhere along the way – no idea when – he said that one day we would have to write a musical.
In 2021, in a feverish state, he composed twelve new pieces. These, he said, would be that musical, and the title—Love Songs. Using piano demos graciously recorded by Brian Marsella, I wrote the first draft of the lyrics, based on Zorn’s working titles and an abstract idea of situations surrounding this amorous theme. Many of the compositions, to my surprise, had a classic sound, with a rubato intro/verse, followed by an AABA form with the type of ii-V-I jazz harmony one rarely, if ever, sees from him. But many of the tunes were also classic Zorn – odd time signatures, atonal harmony, rapid-fire melodic lines, operatic repetitions, and unusual forms. On the heels of these twelve pieces Zorn wrote another four to round out the collection. Once having added lyrics to these, I began a short draft of the musical’s book, building a story with characters. One August afternoon, Zorn and I sat in the shade of the Stuyvesant Town Oval and talked over how to develop it. I’m still revising it to this day. Draft has followed upon draft, shaping the characters, story, dialogue and lyrics.
As I write these liner notes, the full-fledged musical has not yet been premiered.
But in September 2023, Petra Haden, pianist Brian Marsella, bassist Jorge Roeder and drummer Ches Smith presented all of the songs at two concerts at National Sawdust in Brooklyn, New York as part of Zorn’s 70 th birthday celebrations. Fortunately, during the sound check right before the second concert, we made the last-minute decision to have the club make a multi-track recording of the concert. This album is that second concert in its entirety.
Love Songs Live is not only a preview of a larger work to come, but also a full fledged concert in its own right: sixteen new Zorn/Harris songs sung by Petra Haden—whose folky, intimate voice belies an acrobatic ability to sing anything— backed by three masterful musicians who make Zorn’s complex twists and turns sound natural—even inevitable.
Perhaps by the time you, the listener, read these notes, a stage production may be in the works. Until then we’ll have to “let the future unfold.”
– Jesse Harris, January 2024
1. A FOOL
LOOK AT ME
A FOOL
NOTHING BUT A FOOL
DID YOU EVER SEE ME LAUGH TOO LOUD
OR RUMBLE IN A CROWD?
UNDER THE SUN
ANOTHER ONE
COULDN’T EVER BE AS DUMB
OR BLUE
AS I
A FOOL
FOOL WHO NEVER KNEW
LOOK AT ME
A CHILD
OUT IN THE WILD
BUT REALLY NEVER FREE
FROM YOU
A FOOL
FOR LOSING YOU
LOOK AT ME
A CHILD
OUT IN THE WILD
BUT REALLY NEVER FREE
FROM YOU
A FOOL
FOR LOSING YOU
FOOL!
2. SECRETS
LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART
IF I’VE STARTED TO ACT STRANGE
NOTHING CAN BE SAID
NOTHING SHOULD BE READ
INTO ANYTHING THAT I HAVE DONE
BUT WHAT IS IT YOU NEED FROM ME
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE
IF BRINGING MY SECRETS TO LIGHT
IS ALL THAT YOU WANT NOW?
THEN I ASK YOU, LISTEN PLEASE
HERE WE ARE
AND IT MAKES NO SENSE
IF I DON’T TELL YOU EVERYTHING
THAT YOU REALLY WANTED TO KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE
WOULD IT HELP AT ALL
IF SOMEHOW YOU’D SEE EVERYTHING
THAT I NEVER WANTED TO SHOW?
BRING MY SECRETS TO LIGHT
BRING MY SECRETS TO LIGHT
BRING MY SECRETS TO LIGHT
BRING MY SECRETS TO LIGHT
BRING MY SECRETS TO LIGHT
BRING MY SECRETS TO LIGHT
BRING MY SECRETS TO LIGHT
BRING MY SECRETS TO LIGHT
AND YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEM
AND I ONLY HOPE THAT YOU CAN LOVE ME
AGAIN
YES YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEM
AND I ONLY HOPE THAT YOU CAN LOVE ME
AGAIN
SECRETS ARE HARD
ANY SECRETS ARE DARK
AND THEY MAKE YOU ONLY SADDER AND MORE
ALONE
SECRETS WILL ROT
WHEN THEY’RE ALL THAT YOU’VE GOT
AND THEY MAKE YOU ONLY COLDER DOWN TO
THE BONE
YES YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEM
AND I ONLY HOPE THAT I CAN BE WHOLE
AGAIN
AND AND YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEM
AND I ONLY HOPE THAT I CAN BE WHOLE
AGAIN
SECRETS ARE HARD
ANY SECRETS ARE DARK
AND THEY MAKE YOU ONLY SADDER AND MORE
ALONE
SECRETS WILL ROT
WHEN THEY’RE ALL THAT YOU’VE GOT
AND THEY MAKE YOU ONLY COLDER DOWN TO
THE BONE
3. WINTER ON THE PHONE
AFTER ALL THE PROMISES WE MADE
DO YOU THINK IT’S EASY FOR ME
TO TURN AND WALK AWAY?
I’D BE
ONLY BE
WHO YOU THINK I OUGHT TO BE
IF I’D ONLY SEE
INTO A FUTURE WHERE THERE’S ONLY ME
JUST BE
JUST BE
JUST BE HONEST WITH ME NOW
IF THERE’S NOTHING
FOR ME TO DREAM ABOUT
WINTER HERE AT HOME
MADE US LESS ALONE
SUMMER CAME SO FAST
WARM NIGHTS, BROKEN GLASS
EVERYONE MOVES ON
EVERYTHING MOVES SLOWLY
NOW THAT SUMMER’S GONE
WINTER ON THE PHONE
AFTER ALL THE PROMISES WE MADE
DO YOU THINK IT’S EASY FOR ME
TO TURN AND WALK AWAY?
JUST BE
4. EVERY MOMENT AFTER THIS
NOW, FOR THE MOMENT
YOUR WAY AND MINE WILL HAVE TO PART
THERE’S NOTHING TO SAY
YOU HAVE TO MOVE
GET OUT OF THE WAY
WAIT FOR A MOMENT
YOUR WAY AND MINE DON’T HAVE TO PART
CAUSE WHAT CAN I DO?
CAN’T LIVE HERE BY MYSELF WITHOUT YOU
NOW, FOR THE MOMENT
BUT THEN AGAIN
AND FOR THE REST OF TIME
I CAN BE WHAT I WANT
AND IF I WANT
CAN DO WHAT I WANT
AND IF I DO
SEE WHO I WANT
AND I WILL STILL LEAVE YOU
FOR THE MOMENT NOW
AND EVERY MOMENT AFTER
FOR THE MOMENT NOW
AND EVERY MOMENT AFTER
FOR THE MOMENT NOW
AND EVERY MOMENT AFTER
FOR THE MOMENT NOW
AND EVERY MOMENT AFTER THIS
5. AND I WILL DREAM OF YOU
DREAM
AND I WILL DREAM OF YOU TOO
OUT OF THE BLUE
I FEEL OLD AND NEW
HERE DREAMING IN A TWILIGHT
WHETHER WE EVER CROSS THAT SEA
FALLING STAR, DON’T BE A LONELY HEART
CLOSE BUT MILES AWAY FROM ME
SOMEWHERE TOO FAR TO SEE
6. LOOK TO THE FUTURE
I CAN READ YOUR MIND
WE’RE TWO OF A KIND
EVERY DAY IS ANOTHER DAY
EVERY DISAPPOINTMENT YOU KEEP STUMBLING
ON
IT CAN WASH AWAY IF YOU FIND A WAY
TO KEEP YOURSELF MOVING ON
LOOK TO THE FUTURE
AND NOT TO THE PAST
NOT TO THE PAST
EVERYTHING’LL BE ALRIGHT IF YOU DO
YES, IF YOU DO
YES, EVERYTHING’LL BE ALRIGHT IF YOU DO
YOU KNOW THAT ONLY TIME CAN HELP YOU
YES YOU KNOW THAT ONLY TIME CAN HELP
YOU
AND NO THERE’S NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO
YES YOU KNOW THAT ONLY TIME CAN HELP
YOU
YOU KNOW THERE’S NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN
DO
AND YOU KNOW THERE’S NOTHING ELSE YOU
CAN DO
YOU KNOW THAT ONLY TIME CAN HELP YOU
AND YOU KNOW THERE’S NOTHING ELSE YOU
CAN DO
NOBODY BUT NOBODY KNOWS THE FUTURE
KNOWS THE WAY FOR YOU
KNOWS THE WAY FOR YOU
KNOWS THE WAY
NOBODY KNOWS
NOBODY BUT NOBODY REALLY KNOWS YOU
BETTER THAN YOU DO
BETTER THAN YOU DO
THAN YOU DO
NOBODY KNOWS
LOOK TO THE FUTURE
AND FORGET THE PAST
FORGET THE PAST
EVERYTHING’LL BE ALRIGHT IF YOU CAN
YES IF YOU CAN
YES EVERYTHING’LL BE ALRIGHT IF YOU CAN
AND THEN YOU’LL LET THE FUTURE UNFOLD
YES AND THEN YOU’LL LET THE FUTURE
UNFOLD
AND THEN YOU’LL LET THE FUTURE UNFOLD
YES AND THEN YOU’LL LET THE FUTURE
UNFOLD
AND THEN THE FUTURE CAN BE UNTOLD
YES AND THEN THE FUTURE CAN BE UNTOLD
AND THEN THE FUTURE CAN BE UNTOLD
YES AND THEN THE FUTURE CAN BE UNTOLD
NOBODY, BUT NOBODY REALLY KNOWS YOU
BETTER THAN YOU DO
BETTER THAN YOU DO
THAN YOU DO
NOBODY KNOWS
LOOK TO THE FUTURE
AND FORGET THE PAST
FORGET THE PAST
EVERYTHING’LL BE ALRIGHT IF YOU CAN
YES IF YOU CAN
YES
EVERYTHING’LL BE ALRIGHT IF YOU CAN
7. LOST AND FOUND
I KNOW YOUR FACE
SOMETIME SOMEPLACE
IT’S YOUR EYES THAT I RECOGNIZE
AREN’T WE TELLING LIES TO PRETEND?
OH PARDON ME
I’M LOST IN MY HEAD
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE
LOOKING FOR ANYONE
I LOST WHAT I FOUND
I LOST WHAT I WON
SOMEHOW SOMEWHERE
IT’S GONE, YES, THEY’RE GONE
IT’S BEEN SO LONG, SO LONG
WHEREVER I GO
EVERYBODY THAT I MEET OR SEE
THEY ALL SEEM TO LIVE INSIDE THEIR OWN
LIVES
OF DREAMS AND SCHEMES
HOW CAN I EVER FIT IN, FIT IN WITH
THEM?
LOST WHAT I FOUND
LOST!
8. ALL ALONE
MANY NIGHTS I SIT AND GAZE OUT OF THE
WINDOW
AT THE PEOPLE WALKING THERE BELOW ME
THEN I CATCH THE SAME REFLECTION IN
THAT WINDOW
OF A STRANGER WHO STILL DOESN’T KNOW ME
ALL ALONE
IT’S A MISTAKE
I’M ALL ALONE
ALL ALONE
THE ONLY PERSON I SEE
ALL ALONE
I NEVER WANTED TO BE ALL ALONE
I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE
ALL ALONE ALONE
EVER SINCE HE WENT AWAY
I’M ALL ALONE ALONE, LONELY
ALL ALONE AT HOME
WONDERING WHY HE ISN’T HERE WITH ME
ALL ALONE
IT’S A MISTAKE
I’M ALL ALONE
ALL ALONE
THE ONLY PERSON I SEE
ALL ALONE
I NEVER WANTED TO BE ALL ALONE
I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE
ALL ALONE
IT’S A MISTAKE
I’M ALL ALONE
ALL ALONE
THE ONLY PERSON I SEE
ALL ALONE
I NEVER WANTED TO BE ALL ALONE
I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE
ALL ALONE ALONE
EVER SINCE HE WENT AWAY
I’M ALL ALONE ALONE, LONELY
ALL ALONE AT HOME
WONDERING WHY HE ISN’T HERE WITH ME
ALL ALONE
IT’S A MISTAKE
I’M ALL ALONE
ALL ALONE
THE ONLY PERSON I SEE
ALL ALONE
I NEVER WANTED TO BE ALL ALONE
I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE
9. KEEP ON LOOKING
IN THE NIGHT
I SEE YOU WANDERING OVER THE SAND
MOONLIGHT LIGHTS A WAY FOR YOU
THAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND
SO KEEP ON LOOKING
SO KEEP ON LOOKING FOR ME
SO KEEP ON LOOKING FOR ME
YES, SO KEEP ON LOOKING TILL YOU FIND
ME
YOU’VE BEEN SEARCHING ENDLESSLY
BUT KEEP ON LOOKING
YES KEEP ON LOOKING
SO KEEP ON LOOKING TILL YOU FIND ME
IN THE DARK
I’M WITH YOU STUMBLING OVER THE STONES
SAD, LOST AND CONFUSED
REMEMBER THAT YOU’RE NOT ALONE
SO KEEP ON LOOKING
SO KEEP ON LOOKING FOR ME
SO KEEP ON LOOKING FOR ME
YES, SO KEEP ON LOOKING TILL YOU FIND
ME
NO ONE PROMISED WE WOULD MEET
BUT KEEP ON LOOKING
YES KEEP ON LOOKING
SO KEEP ON LOOKING TILL YOU FIND ME
10. WISH WE WERE
I’VE MADE MISTAKES, I MUST ADMIT
FOR EXAMPLE, CERTAIN YOU WOULD SAVE A
PLACE FOR ME
THOUGH WE WERE SO CLOSE
I LET YOU DRIFT AWAY
THOUGHT THAT I COULD WAIT AND SEE
THERE ISN’T ANYONE WHO I CAN TALK TO
NO ONE I WOULD REALLY CALL A FRIEND
WE WERE ONCE SO CLOSE
BUT NOW I FEAR YOU’RE GONE
WISH WE WERE SO CLOSE AGAIN
LAUGHING AND TALKING ALL NIGHT LONG
ROLLING ‘ROUND IN THE DARKNESS TILL THE
DAWN
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO CARELESS WHEN THEY’VE
GOT EVERYTHING?
IT CAN BE LOST
SO MANY MISTAKES I CANNOT FIX
IF THERE WERE ONE I COULD CHANGE I KNOW
WE WERE ONCE SO CLOSE
BUT WE FORGOT THE SONG
WISH WE WERE SO CLOSE AGAIN
11. AS A FLYING BIRD
IT DOESN’T HURT
IT DOESN’T HURT
IT DOESN’T HURT
IT DOESN’T HURT
NO, IT REALLY REALLY DOESN’T HURT
THAT I NEVER HEAR A SINGLE WORD
YOU’RE AS SILENT AS A FLYING BIRD
AND IT REALLY REALLY DOESN’T HURT
I DON’T DREAM OF THE PAST
I ALWAYS KNEW IT WOULD NEVER LAST
SO I’M NOT CONCERNED
AND NO, IT REALLY DOESN’T HURT
SO I WILL NEVER SHOW
SO I WILL NEVER SHOW
SO I WILL NEVER SHOW IT
NO, IT DOESN’T EVEN CROSS MY MIND
TO BE LONGING FOR ANOTHER TIME
CAUSE THE SUN’S SO BRIGHT I’M GOING
BLIND, GOING BLIND
IT DOESN’T HURT
IT DOESN’T HURT
NO, IT REALLY REALLY DOESN’T HURT
THAT I NEVER HEAR A SINGLE WORD
YOU’RE AS SILENT AS A FLYING BIRD
AND IT REALLY REALLY DOESN’T HURT
I WOULDN’T STAND YOUR TOUCH
STRANGE THAT IT HAD EVER MEANT SO MUCH
TOOK SO LONG TO LEARN
BUT NOW, IT DOESN’T HURT
SO I WILL NEVER SHOW
SO I WILL NEVER SHOW
SO I WILL NEVER SHOW IT
NO, IT DOESN’T EVEN CROSS MY MIND
TO BE LONGING FOR ANOTHER TIME
CAUSE THE SUN’S SO BRIGHT I’M GOING
BLIND, GOING BLIND
IT DOESN’T HURT
IT DOESN’T HURT
12. IN TIME
HERE WE ARE
WE MEET AGAIN
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SO LONG?
SO MANY YEARS
YOU DIDN’T SAY GOODBYE
NOR I
WHO KNOWS?
DO YOU REMEMBER WHY WE DIDN’T CALL?
AT ALL? AT ALL?
ANYWAY I’M GLAD YOU CALLED
ISN’T IT WILD FOR US TO SPEND THE DAY
TOGETHER?
ISN’T IT FUN TO THINK THAT IT’LL NEVER
END?
I WOULD MARRY YOU
COULD YOU PROMISE TOO?
WE COULD LAUGH LIKE HAPPY PEOPLE ALL
SEEM TO DO
NOW WE PART AGAIN
THE DAY HAS GONE SO FAST
IT’S GONE
IT’S A DREAM OF THE PAST
IT COULDN’T LAST
BUT DON’T BE SAD, ONLY GLAD
I KNOW WE’LL SEE EACH OTHER
A BETTER TIME
ANOTHER TIME
13. NON FORTUNA
YOU’RE NOT UNLUCKY, NOT UNLUCKY
NOT UNLOVED BY GOD ABOVE
YOU’RE NOT UNLUCKY, NOT UNLUCKY
NOT UNLOVED BY GOD
BUT THERE’S SOMEONE
YOU DON’T KNOW
TAKE SOME TIME TO TURN AROUND
AND LOOK BEHIND
YOU ONLY SEE YOURSELF
YOURSELF AND NO ONE ELSE
AND THEN ONE DAY YOU ARE GOING TO FLY
AWAY
FAR ACROSS THE SKY
BEGIN, THERE IS NO OTHER WAY
THOUGH I
DON’T KNOW WHAT OR HOW TO SAY TO YOU
FIND A WAY
AND YOU ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT
THROUGH
YES, DON’T YOU?
UNDER THE CLOUDS
THE SUN’S SHINING OUT
WE CAN WANDER AROUND
UNTIL THE SUN GOES DOWN
SAY GOODBYE, GOODBYE
TO THE RAIN AND WIND
SAY GOODBYE, GOODBYE
TO THE THUNDERING
SAY GOODBYE, GOODBYE
TO THE SCATTERED LEAVES ON THE GROUND
DON’T TOUCH MY HAND
TURNED COLD I DON’T UNDERSTAND
THOUGH I MAY NOT LEARN I’M NOT
CONCERNED
AND NO IT DOESN’T HURT AT ALL
THOUGH I MAY NOT LEARN I’M NOT
CONCERNED
AND NO IT DOESN’T HURT AT ALL
THERE IS SOMEONE YOU DON’T KNOW
YOU’RE NOT UNLUCKY, NOT UNLUCKY
NOT UNLOVED BY GOD ABOVE
YOU’RE NOT UNLUCKY, NOT UNLUCKY
NOT UNLOVED BY GOD
THERE IS SOMEONE YOU DON’T KNOW
THERE IS SOMEONE YOU DON’T KNOW
14. DON’T BELIEVE
DON’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU HEAR
ANYTHING THAT ANYBODY SAYS ABOUT ME
DEAR
DON’T BELIEVE THOSE WORDS ARE TRUE
DON’T BELIEVE THEY’RE LOOKING OUT FOR
YOU
DON’T BELIEVE THE THINGS THEY SAY
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND ANYONE, OK?
EVEN IF IT SEEMS IT IS RIGHT
EVEN IF IT, EVEN IF IT, CAN’T BE WRONG
EVEN IF IT SEEMS IT COULD BE RIGHT
EVEN IF IT, EVEN IF IT, SEEMS IT COULD
BE RIGHT
IT IS WRONG
THEN AFTER THEY’RE GONE
WHEN WE’RE ALONE
WE’LL BELIEVE WHAT WE WANT
AND DON’T BELIEVE THEY’RE AWARE
OF ALL THE PROMISES MADE IN THE AIR
DON’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE
ANYTIME THAT ANYBODY TELLS YOU WHAT TO
SEE
DON’T BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE REAL
DON’T BELIEVE THEY TELL YOU HOW TO
FEEL
DON’T BELIEVE THE THINGS THEY SAY
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND ANYONE OK?
EVEN IF IT SEEMS IT IS RIGHT
EVEN IF IT, EVEN IF IT, CAN’T BE WRONG
EVEN IF IT SEEMS IT COULD BE RIGHT
EVEN IF IT, EVEN IF IT, SEEMS IT COULD
BE RIGHT
IT IS WRONG
15. LOST IN A REVERIE
SOMETIMES DRIFTING LIKE ALL OF THESE
SHIFTING CROWDS
MY MIND WANDERS ROUND AND ROUND THE
SAME SCENE
WHERE I ALWAYS GO
LOST IN A REVERIE
AND NOW STARING UP AT THE SKIES
ALL I SEE IS YOUR EYES
LOOKING DOWN SILENTLY
A LAPSE INTO REVERIE IS A LAPSE OF TIME
AND MEMORY
THE MOON SHINING THROUGH CLOUDS RACING
BY
STARS FALLING LIKE RAIN ACROSS THE SKY
A LAPSE INTO REVERIE IS ALL THAT’S LEFT
TO ME
AND NO I DON’T HEAR ANY SOUND
OF ANYONE TALKING LOUD
LOST IN A REVERIE
RAIN FALLING
TIME PASSING
THEY DON’T TOUCH ME AT ALL
I DON’T EVEN RECALL WHERE I CAME FROM
NOT AT ALL
AND THEN WHAT I WANT IS TO BE
HERE WITH YOU CLOSE TO ME
LOST IN THIS REVERIE
16. FOR YOU
FOR YOU HAVE I WAITED A LIFETIME
FOR FREE HAVE I ROLLED LIKE A STONE
BEFORE YOU EVER STUMBLED UPON ME
I THOUGHT I COULD MAKE IT ALONE
SO MUCH TIME CHASING RAINBOWS
SO MUCH TIME BETWEEN HIGHS AND LOWS
FOR WHOM WAS I WALKING IN CIRCLES?
FOR WHAT WAS I TRAVELING FAR?
NO ONE HAD EVER SHOWN ME THE RIGHT WAY
SO I FOLLOWED EVERY STAR
SO MUCH TIME CHASING PEOPLE
SO MUCH TIME THAT MY HANDS WERE FULL
FOR YOU HAVE I WAITED A LIFETIME
FOR FREE HAVE I ROLLED LIKE A STONE
BEFORE YOU EVER SAW ME AND SAVED ME
I THOUGHT I COULD MAKE IT ALONE
SO MUCH TIME TRYING TO BE TRUE
SO MUCH TIME SO MUCH TIME FOR YOU